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I'll never be in Infantry

I’ll never be in infantry
Queen of battle’s not for me
Chairborne, chairborne pogue I’ll be Refrain
Staff platoon’s the life for me.

Up in the morning, out of bed
Do some stretches, hit the head
Drink some coffee, settle down
Nothing like Columbian grounds.

From a desk I oversee
Typed reports and spilled coffee
Off to meetings I will go
Can I stay awake, Hell I don’t know.

Early at night it’s drizzling rain
I slip in the mud, I get a sprain
A purple heart they gave to me
What can I do for a D-S-C.

Armor and artillary
Are things I hear but never see
They frighten me and make too much noise
I’m scared of big old soldiers’ toys.

Well dug in and over the hill
Is where I made and keep my still
Swilling hooch and playing cards
Is life for me and not too hard.

It’s true that someday I’ll be head
With lots of gray hair on my head
It’s hard to get a shot at me
Cause REMF is all I’ll ever be.

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